Saturday, December 31, 2011

A post after a long time...

Seems only lately that I have had any time to think and reflect. Not that things are too busy otherwise, I think it was just the lack of incentives - perhaps it was too convenient to not look back. In any case, NOT doing something is usually never a cause of good things, and therefore this last night of the year 2011 is a good time to kick the habit.

2011 has been a good year to me - I read an year ago on one of the widely followed horoscope sites that 2011 would be an unmitigated disaster for Capricorn, and that if I got through the end of the year I should basically thank my stars. Well, its over now, and it was quite pleasant, thank you! A few things changed, a few losses, some sadness, and some happiness. The year gone by is making me ask some hard questions, some questions that have no answers yet. I'm an year older, but am I better? Clearly, in the scheme of things, I am going to lead an inconsequential existence - the world would not notice my absence in the least. What really is important then? What can I do without, and what would I die without?

Looking back, I have got mostly whatever I wanted from life. Some of this has been good for me, and some not. In hindsight, huge victories now seem pyrhhic, and big letdowns seem providential. The way I have lived so far does not offer any hope for a more fulfilling tomorrow.

Aeons ago, Prince Siddharth left a kingdom, a wife, a son and a family for essentially nothing, and became the enlightened one. Perhaps there are some inspirations to be drawn from there? What if I let go? Gave up on want? Would a lack of desire in life be enough? Or does one need to keep a positive goal always? Should I aim to make others happy? Myself happy?

An experiment would be in order. I will try to make 'let go' my anthem for 2012. Let go of desires, worries, attachments. Perhaps the waves will carry me through where the compass looked like failing!!

Wish all your wishes for 2012 get fulfilled as well!