Wednesday, March 06, 2013

The concept of father

On an airplane, reading poems of William Blake, I come across one called Little Boy Lost. It makes me think of the concept of fatherhood. I always thought of my father as all knowing, all wise and all powerful. Only when I grew up, perhaps in the twenties, did I figure out that Father was also a human being. Now he is a friend, an ally, and a staunch supporter.

I am now a father myself. I wonder what my three year old thinks of me. Does she see me as I saw my father? A distant, powerful entity hovering in the background? Or does she think of me as her confidant and cheerleader? When she is upset, or insecure, she seeks her mother. She wants to cuddle with mother while sleeping. She complains if father kisses her too much, since she gets scratched by his 'gaadi' as she calls it. 

I wonder if my daughter knows of the immense depth of my love for her. Her lightest smile makes my day. Her most frivolous wish is my command. Sometimes I miss her so terribly that tears come to my eyes. Perhaps when she grows up and becomes a mom, she will read this. And think with love of her father, her greatest cheerleader and her biggest fan.

As I think of my father today.

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