Friday, December 22, 2006

Major insight: What women want

Today I was part of a very interesting conversation with a bunch of friends over a leisurely cup of coffee - a young colleague was despondent with his inability to make any positive (amorous) impression on multiple girls he had been hitting on. Somehow the topic of conversation veered around to his dilemma, and eveyone else jumped in with advice on what he should be doing. However, being a smart dude, he turned to the women in the group and asked point blank: What do women want???

Now, each woman in the group had some idea on what model works best with women, but here is a synthesis of the insights that could be gleaned:

  1. Women (and even men) apparently want things they cannot have - so the critical aspect of attraction is unattainability. And yet one must be attainable at times. This game needs to be played really masterfully - any error on either side can make the other party either give up, or worse - lose interest. Unfortunately I was unable to pick up tips on what exactly makes you either - but I got the general concept and agree with it wholeheartedly.
  2. The other aspect of attraction is desirability - here the insight was that it helps if you are a good conversationalist, are genuinely passionate about something, can make the girl laugh, and most importantly - are ambitious. The implication for us males is: Guys!! WAKE UP! And do something with your lives!!!
  3. Another insight was that women are usually looking for guys they can mother i.e. the girl needs to believe that she can either a) improve the guy or b) without her, the guy will just waste away.
  4. The last insight was that girls dont care too much for looks, build, height etc etc. Now the women were very very insistent on this (even though I dont really believe it :-). I do think its much easier for strikingly handsome guys to strike up friendships with girls.

I realized also that this list is extremely long and demanding - there does not seem to be too much hope for my poor brethren, unless they are just PERFECT :-). Therefore my two bits of wisdom to my worried colleague: Dont worry, just be yourself. Along will come the right girl for you, and you will be tied to her for the rest of your life!! Amen.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

my friend, the secret is the chemistry!

Anonymous said...

this seems to be a fav topic with you mister.. agree with anonymous.. you can analyze it to death but the key is chemistry :)

Me

Anonymous said...

Looks DON'T matter.
Bigger is NOT better.
And yes, conversations will take you a long way.

Anonymous said...

It's not perfection that we want. It's a little imperfections that make the guy so lovable.

Alam said...

I guess i have to ask the various girls (who were crazy about me) on the aspects of my dynamic personality that they liked most.....then maybe i can help your friend

ha ha ha ha
:-)

Sarah! said...

ugh... the playing hard to get thing drives me crazy.

speaking of crazy, i may be, but i'm a fan of being direct. i figure that if i tell a guy how i feel, it'll either start something or show me that the guy wasn't worth my time. either way, i don't obsess.

ok, maybe just a little.

interesting topic, though. that's one of the more thorough lists that i've read.